Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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