I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
