if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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