is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
