yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
