How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The ass gains better be worth it
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