in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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