Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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