do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
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Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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