D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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