I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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