So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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