So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
