just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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