that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
