Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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