glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
