I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
