Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have demons in me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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