I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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