the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
