There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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