But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
