sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
