You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
