We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
