i was rollin on her like bob the builder
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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