do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
