I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Welp...herpes.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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