guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
ok first of all what the fuck
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
