No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
