we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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