i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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