we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
