yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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