Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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