Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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