Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
