Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
