I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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