he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
