I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
