my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
