I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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