id be glad to
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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