Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
