Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize