I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
