he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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