we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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