I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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