I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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