Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
