pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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