that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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