every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I party with great urgency now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
