if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
