she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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