You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
