Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize